


Suddenly Kabedon!!

by Starfruit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boys Love - Freeform, Comedy, Fluff, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 02:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5030896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starfruit/pseuds/Starfruit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa doesn't ask Yamaguchi out on a date.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suddenly Kabedon!!

 

“You’re probably annoying her,” Iwaizumi said from the doorway of the changing room.

“Hm?” Oikawa hummed questioningly, completing and sending his text message despite his clothes hanging from his body, only on half-way.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi started with a scowl. He began leaping into the air, launching a powerful kick. “Put your goddamn clothes on so we can leave!”

Without thinking, Oikawa leaned a bit to the right, evading the kick. Iwaizumi landed in front of his friend, turning around with an evil look in his eye. He slammed his fist solidly down onto the top of Oikawa’s head while yelling, “Don’t dodge my discipline!”

“Sorry, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa laughed, casually ignoring the nosebleed the violent blow had caused. “I’ll hurry and get dressed!”

After they had both successfully changed and headed out, Oikawa continued to send and receive a steady, quick relay of text messages all while wearing a huge grin.

“For some reason,” Iwaizumi said amongst the silence. “You’re pissing me off, how much you’re texting your girlfriend. If you’re like this, it’s too quiet.”

“But I’m not texting my girlfriend?” Oikawa replied, subconsciously thinking how moved he was that his friend wish he were talking.

“Why are you lying?” Iwaizumi asked with genuine confusion. “Are you embarrassed of her? Is she ugly?”

“I-I seriously have no girlfriend to text,” Oikawa sputtered back. “I’m talking to Karasuno’s pinch server.”

A good pause and then a very bewildered, “You’ve been messaging a guy?”

“Y-yes… what’s so wrong with that?” Oikawa’s facial expressions only changed, but his hands remained glued to his phone. “I have friends other than you, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi stared at his buddy for a few moments before crossing his arms.

“I know that, even though it’s hard to believe sometimes,” he started, earning an offended “Iwa-chan…” He smirked and continued, “It’s just I’ve never seen you be so annoying like this except with girlfriends. You’ve been at it for so long, I thought you were pestering your girl about a date!”

“Again with ‘annoying’…” Oikawa noted with a chuckle. For now, he put his phone in his pocket and turned to his friend as they made a turn to walk down a hill. “If you’re bored, why not message Chiaki-chan?”

Iwaizumi quickly slammed his bookbag into Oikawa’s stomach causing the injured to shout, “What was that for?!”

Iwaizumi looked into the distance as the wind coolly ruffled his hair as he explained, “Don’t let my angel’s name leave your lips so easily, Crappykawa.”

“Your burly 185 cm angel…” This comment allowed Oikawa to receive another hit.

 “I don’t want to bother her right now,” Iwazumi said as they picked up their old pace. “She’s in cram school and if – you’re texting him again?!”

“He’s so cute!” Oikawa laughed. “I told him if you blindfold a panda it will always travel north and he believed me! Haha!”

Oikawa kept merrily typing and walking for a good few steps until he noticed Iwaizumi wasn’t beside him anymore. He turned around to see his friend frozen in place, staring blankly at him.

“Wh-what’s wrong?” Oikawa asked. “It’s not true, Iwa-chan. A blindfolded panda would probably just go to slee-”

“Did you just call a guy ‘ _cute_?’” Iwaizumi asked, looking any where, but into Oikawa’s eyes.

Oikawa flinched and said, “Um, that’s…. ‘cute’ haha? Is that what I said? Well… he’s a precious kouhai so that’s why I said-”

“Do you _like_ this guy?”

“‘Like?!’ Like is very strong word I mean I think he’s cute and fun and precious and refreshing and totally someone I want to protect and care for with all my heart and soul but going as far as to say ‘like’ is just-”

“So you like him.”

Oikawa fell to his hands and knees in a position of utter defeat. “What’s happened to me, Iwa-chan?!”

“To ask that question suggests that you were ever a normal person to begin with,” Iwaizumi admitted monotonously. “But seriously though, there’s nothing wrong with liking a guy. At least you’ve admitted it rather than repressing it, that’d be bad.”

Oikawa stared emptily at Iwaizumi for a couple of seconds then seemed to go into troubled thought which made Iwaizumi punch his back and demand, “Don’t start trying to repress it now!”

“What should I do?” Oikawa questioned, exaggeratedly sulking. “I’ve only been able to ace girls! What kind of serve will let me score Yama-chan?”

“Please don’t talk about it like that,” Iwaizumi deadpanned. “Isn’t the first thing to tell him how you feel?”

Oikawa cocked his head to one side. “How do I do that? I’ve never confessed to anyone before!”

“Huh?!” Iwaizumi gasped. “But all your girlfriends-?!”

“They all confessed to me,” Oikawa professed, posing by playfully sticking out his tongue while winking and throwing a peace sign.

An angry vein pulsed on Iwaizumi’s forehead. “…why should I really help a Trashykawa like you out anyway, huh?!”

“Did I do something wrong?!”

 

 

 

“Good morning, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi exclaimed as he met up with Tsukishima for their morning walk to school. The dark-haired boy seemed to have sparkles glimmering around his bright smile…

Which contrasted with Tsukishima’s dark circles and drooping frown.

“’Morning,” his friend finally replied. After a few minutes of silence as Tsukishima listened to music and Yamaguchi texted, the blond posed a question: “Why are you so spirited this morning?”

“No reason~” Yamaguchi sang as he added a smiley face to a message and pressed send.

“Really?”

“Mm-hm!”

“…”

“Hehe, so funny!”

“…”

“Oh, I know that’s not true! Haha!”

“…”  
“Hehe, haha!”

“…You’re ticking me off.”

“Eh?!”

 

Oikawa panted lightly as he pressed the towel gently to his sopping neck. Iwaizumi joined him on the sidelines of practice, gulping down a bottle of water.

“For some reason the drills seem easier today,” Iwazimui noted as Oikawa handed him a towel. He let out a grunt of thanks and watched the others continue training.

“Yeah, I asked that pinch server out on a date,” Oikawa responded, grabbing the shocked Iwaizumi’s water bottle and taking a sip.

Iwaizumi glared at his friend and shouted, “Keep the conversation consistent, will you?!”

“Why are you scolding me?!” Oikawa shouted back with a brow furrowed in confusion.   
“It’s like if I said ‘the weather’s muggy’ and you tell me ‘true, cats are nice!’”

“Cats can actually be kind of mean, I think. Once, I went over to a friend’s house and his cat scratched me when I pet it! I didn’t bleed though. Still scary, right? Well, I guess I’m calling it a date, but I just asked him if he wants to hang out on Saturday.”

Oikawa took another casual sip of water before getting a volleyball to the side of his head.

 

“Tsukki, please come with me?” Yamaguchi begged as Tsukishima was packing up his bag after class. The shorter boy had his hands clasped together, eyes closed, and body slightly bowed. Others who were packing up or getting ready for cleaning duty, looked on with curiosity.

“Don’t do that in front of everyone,” Tsukishima demanded.

“Right!” Yamaguchi immediately snapped to straight line, arms to his sides and eyes still tightly shut. “Sorry!”

 

A crow cawed loudly from a gate as they walked towards it, flying away as they passed by. The gentle onset of dusk helped calm some of Yamaguchi’s flaring nerves.

“Why do you want me to accompany you on your date?” Tsukishima asked.

“I-it’s n-not a d-date!” Yamaguchi stumbled over his words, face flushed and hands awkwardly looking for something to do. “He just invited me to hang out. With him. Alone.”

A few seconds later and the redness that had died down, returned full force.

“It won’t be so alone if I’m there,” Tsukishima complained (?).

“You don’t have to be there the whole time,” Yamaguchi explained, clenching onto his bag. “Just walk me there and then when I meet up with him, you can go…”

Tsukishima’s expression twisted in distaste, a shadow darkly coloring his face.

“What am I?” he muttered. “A father giving away the bride?”

Yamaguchi gasped, “M-marriage?! Already?!”

“…I thought this wasn’t a date.”

The crow flew over their heads, letting out another loud cry.

 

Oikawa posed coolly, showing off his carefully chosen outfit but a dashing hand left his face undisclosed. His pants were hip and fresh, accenting the lines of legs without heavily defining them. His button-up shirt was crisp and just tight enough – putting emphasis on his broad shoulders and built chest while being breathable, but not loose in his stomach area. A professional couldn’t have styled his hair to better give a young, yet masculine flair. He had sex appeal without being overly sensual. He came off as manly but avoided seeming aggressive. He had achieved a look that exuded maturity and youthfulness. What a work of art.

“Wow, actually you look really-” Iwaizumi began, as he met with his friend nearby the café where Oikawa and Yamaguchi’s rendez-vous was to be held.

Oikawa moved his handsome hand to reveal a strained face, sweating bullets, with deep dark circles hanging worriedly beneath twitching eyelids.

“-like you’re in desperate need of help,” Iwaizumi stated, shoulders slumping.

“Just relax and be yourself,” Chiaki chimed in. She was a cute enough girl, Oikawa always thought upon seeing her, though he wished she would touch up her eyebrows and not so lazily toss her beautiful thick black hair into a ponytail. Not to mention she was tall, which wasn’t his style, but what annoyed him most about her was simply that she was dating Iwaizumi.   
“That helps and I totally hadn’t thought of that – thanks, Chiaki-chan!” was what Oikawa had wanted to say sarcastically, but he feared what Iwaizumi would do.

So instead he just nodded and said, “Thanks for your support!” as genuinely as he could manage.

“If you just calm down and let him see the real you, you should be fine (hopefully),” Iwaizumi said with a shrug.   
Oikawa gave a fake smile and replied, “That helps and I totally hadn’t thought of that – thanks, Iwa-cha-”

“Annoying!” the shorter friend shouted with a kick.

 

“I’m so nervous!” Yamaguchi stuttered from around the corner of the café. When he had joined up with Tsukishima a half hour earlier, he had been wearing a suit. But upon seeing his friend so overly dressed, Tsukishima had begun to laugh uncontrollably (“So formal for your ‘not date!’ Bahaha!”). They had made the decision to remove the suit jacket and tie to make Yamaguchi a little less stuffy. He still looked a little too proper for just chilling out, but it would do.

“Is really that big of a deal?” Tsukishima asked. “You’re just hanging out with a guy. You hang out with me all the time.”

“B-but this is different,” Yamaguchi said, fidgeting.

“It’s a date then.”

“It’s not!”

“You’re exactly 17 minutes late as of right now.”

“Gah!”

“Just go in already!”

“I can’t!” Yamaguchi mumbled, feeling on the verge of tears. He swallowed hard and said, “Wh-what if something… _happens?_ ”

Tsukishima’s eyebrows twitched with annoyance. “Like what?” he knew he would regret asking.

“Like what if we’re hanging out in an alleyway-” “Why would you be in an alleyway?” “-and then suddenly-” Yamaguchi stretched his arms out in front of him. “-Kabedon!”

“Kabedon?”

“Kabedon!”

They stayed there a few moments, Tsukishima simply blankly gazing at his friends who became gradually more embarrassed of his stretched out arms.

“What’s kabedon?” Tsukishima asked.

“You know,” Yamaguchi began. “That thing where a guy puts his hands on the wall and hovers over his prey like in girly manga or dramas.”

“Why do you know about such a weird thing?”

“It was in a commercial!” Yamaguchi sputtered.

Tsukishima crossed his arms. “I still don’t know what you’re-” then he realized as Yamaguchi stared up at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Oh, you mean like this…”

 

Oikawa had never been stood up before. He sat in the café with his head held high, hoping that no one noticed how much he had been sighing for the past 15 minutes – a quarter hour of complete agony. He texted Yamaguchi not too long ago and gotten a reply saying that he’d be there within 5 minutes. And yet it had been 15 with no sign of Yamaguchi – scratch that – 16 minutes. 16. Agonizing. Minutes.

He had parted from Iwaizumi in better spirits than how they had met with his friend saying that he and Chiaki were going to stay close by in a neighboring clothing store. Oikawa had waved them goodbye, planning on meeting up with them much later.

But now he wondered if he should just go to them at this very moment. He shook his head after playing out the humiliating scene in his imagination: “He hasn’t shown up yet! What should I do?!” “It’s only been 20 minutes, go back, you loserrrrr!” “I’m sorry, you’re right, Chiaki-chan…”)

With another heaving sigh (an especially hefty one in the sea of sighs that everyone in the café had totally noticed), Oikawa stood up to go outside for a breath of fresh air.

Outside, he heard a familiar voice.

“Don’t _do_ it!”

A smile lit up Oikawa’s face as he ran towards the source of that lovely~ voice. “Yama-”

“What if somebody sees this, Tsukki?!”

He rounded the corner of the café to see Tsukishima looming over Oikawa’s precious Yamaguchi, his hands pressed against the wall on either side of the shorter boy’s head. He was pinned like a protagonist straight from a drama, bright red face and all.

“-chan…” Oikawa’s voice dropped like his smile until it perked back up in the form of a smirk. “Oh, I see you’re busy,” he said, getting Yamaguchi’s attention.

“Oikawa-san!” Yamaguchi shouted, pushing a seemingly emotionless Tsukishima away. “It’s not what it looks like!”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me!” Oikawa said with a dark laugh. “I mean, aren’t we just friends hanging out? If you want to… hang out with someone else, that’s fine with me. Well, I have… diarrhea, so I’m gonna go now. See ya!” With that Oikawa was gone.

“Wait!” Yamaguchi called out, in vain.

“Diarrhea?” Tsukishima repeated, nose scrunched with disgust.

 

 

“Oh, hey,” Iwaizumi said as he and Chiaki approached Oikawa who sat on the edge of a large stone fountain. “Done already?”

“I’m an idiot,” Oikawa said, head hanging low.

“I could’ve told you that,” Iwaizumi said, taking a seat next to the sulking setter. When he saw a slight, sad shake of his friend’s shoulders, he gave Chiaki a single look.

“I’ll go get you guys some drinks,” the girl said, running off to fetch water or tea for the boys.

“I guess I just assumed,” Oikawa got out without blubbering, amazingly enough. “That since so many other people wanted me, he would too. I guess I just assumed that I could beat anyone else in his heart. I guess I just assumed that my feelings were so strong that maybe… maybe…”

“It’s okay,” Iwaizumi said, hands in his pockets. “It’s kind of like losing a game. It’s frustrating right now, but you’ll win the next win. So, cry right now if you want to but get back to winning one day. I guess losing a game is worse though, because that’s something you lose despite your practice and putting in an effort with your own two hands,” he took a breath then went on.

“Losing someone’s heart… there wasn’t much you could do about that. What’s the saying the heart wants what the heart wants or whatever.”

Oikawa sniffled and said, “Iwa-chan.”

“Yeah?”

“You suck at this.”

“Well, I’m trying, okay?!”

Oikawa looked up with tearful eyes and a small drip of snot leaking from his nose. “Thanks for that.”

“No problem,” Iwaizumi smiled and put his arm around his friend’s shoulder. “Idiot!”

“Oikawa-san!” A familiar voice shouted from in front of them.

“Yama-chan…” Oikawa mumbled, wiping his face clean.

Glancing at the looks they were sending each other, Iwaizumi quickly figured out a plan and pulled Oikawa closer to him.

“What do you want?” the Wing Spiker scoffed. “Can’t you see we’re trying to have a little alone time?”

“Eh?!” Oikawa and Yamaguchi simultaneously gasped.

Iwaizumi looked up at Yamaguchi through half-lidded eyes as he said, “Couples really like their private time, so…”

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa shouted. “Sto-!”

“I’m sorry!” Yamaguchi sniveled. “I understand!”

The pinch server then took off somewhere, obviously crying and upset.

“What are you waiting for?” Iwaizumi asked, pushing Oikawa to stand (almost causing him to fall). “Go after him!”

As Oikawa regained his footing and confidence, he nodded. “Right!”

With that, he chased after his precious Yama-chan.

 

The whimpers and hiccups were as pathetic as Oikawa expected of Yamaguchi as he found the first year curled up in an alleyway.

“Yama-chan, listen,” Oikawa had started.

“It’s okay!” Yamaguchi stood and wouldn’t let Oikawa finish. “It’s like you said! We’re just friends, so… why do I care if you hang out with someone else?”

It sounded like a question more geared towards himself than Oikawa.

Though his brow was raised with concern, Oikawa gave a gentle smile as he approached Yamaguchi.

“I don’t consider us friends,” Oikawa admitted.

Yamaguchi looked up at the light haired boy, who now stood in front of him with that stupidly attractive face that was currently bringing Yamaguchi so much pain.

“That’s okay too,” Yamaguchi said. “I don’t mind being acquaintances or even enemies. I honestly just want to be near you, Oikawa-san. I want to talk to you. I…”

Yamaguchi wasn’t able to complete his sentence due to his nonsensical blubbering.

Oikawa sighed and ran a hand though his hair. “That’s not what I mean either. Jeez. I’m so lame. I really don’t know how to do this.”

“No, I’m the lame one, Oikawa-san!”

“No, I’m the lame one!”

“No, I’m seriously lame!”

“No,” Oikawa said, slamming his hands against the alleyway wall, pinning Yamaguchi against it as the younger boy thought _“And then suddenly – kabedon!!”_ Oikawa bit his lip before admitting, “I like you! Iwa-chan was just kidding around back there! He has a really uncute girlfriend who’s taller than me and more snarky than him! I just didn’t know how to tell you because I’ve never confessed to anyone before!”  
“But all your girlfriends…!”

“★They all confessed to me! ★”

“Somehow that’s kind of annoying…”

“Isn’t that great though, Yama-chan?” Oikawa laughed. “You’re the first person where I took the initiative! I couldn’t just let you slip away!”

“Oh, well, I…” Yamaguchi muttered, face blushing intensely under the heat of Oikawa’s powerful kabedon. “I like you too.”

Oikawa could only stare in silence before a drip of blood steadily rolled out his nose.

“Oikawa-san!! Are you okay?!” Yamaguchi shouted, turning white.

Oikawa smiled, covering his nose with one hand and giving a thumbs up with the other. “I’m fine!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Please say you like me again.”  
“Maybe you should see a doctor… or lie down….”

“All I need is Yama-chan’s love to keep me alive!”

“Please don’t put that sort of pressure on me!”

 

The oncoming day was proving to be a peaceful one as Yamaguchi and Tsukishima made their way up the usual hill. A crow landed on a nearby tree to clean its feathers.

“How did your date turn out?” Tsukishima asked as Yamaguchi happily texted away. He could feel his stomach turn as Yamaguchi unabashedly radiated new puppy love. Gross. “Well, I assume.”

“Yep!” Yamaguchi said joyfully, beaming up at Tsukishima. “It happened!”

“What happened?” Tsukishima asked.

“In an alleyway. Suddenly – kabedon!” Yamaguchi laughed as the crow took off from the branch and cawed three times.

“Ha?” was all Tsukishima could get out.


End file.
